I’ve been lax with the project 52 posts again. It’s been a busy few weeks and in my defence I was either in the UK, or had houseguests for much of the time elapsed since my last (somewhat growly) post… therefore, my two missing posts (weeks 26 & 27) are snippets of what I have been up to!
So, week 26- I left for the UK on the Wednesday lunchtime and had a couple of days with Matt, in which Adventures were had, went to a wedding, celebrated an engagement, saw my folks and played some silly games. On the Friday M and I went to London for said Adventure – we went to the British Museum, but didn’t manage to get in to see Herculaneum and Pompeii, so we wandered around some bits of the museum we missed on our last visit in February, then walked (!) over to London Zoo, via Regent’s Park, to attend ‘Zoo Lates‘ – this was a lot of fun and as you may have seen on twitter, I learned a lot about aardvarks and got a little over excited by the sloths. I only took one picture though, as Matt took his decent camera along and I left documenting the trip down to him. He had great fun before we even got to the zoo, trying to get pictures of the almost tame squirrels in the park.
When I came back to the Netherlands last Thursday I brought Cas and Cat with me, and they went home on Tuesday (via awesome pie in Amsterdam). Having two of my favourite women here with me for almost a week was such a treat. We talked about books, and men, and politics, and life as our particular generation. It was particularly interesting to me to see the city through their eyes. Cat is a keen photographer and she looks at buildings and landscapes in ways that I don’t. I think the pictures she took on the trip are stunning. Cas is a writer and inquisitive by nature, especially about people and how they work. She asked me so many good questions, about what life here is like, and how it is different from home. More than anything, it was good to spend a few days with people who know me inside out, and who have devoured the same books as me…. When we get together, Matt swears it is like trying to decipher code as we pull references from authors we love to explain how we feel, or how we see a situation. They are my coven, and I love them.
I went back to work yesterday and spent all of it reading documents that had come in for my edits while I was away, and getting on top of my email. Today I had a ‘supervision’ meeting with a student doing his BA thesis partly with me, then had an afternoon of dealing with Scary Things ™ – like the Student Loans Company, and pressing for feedback on an article I am writing, then cracked on with a report. I met the lovely Vere after work for a catch-up and then came home and decided I had used up all of my bravery for the day, so no more scary things tonight. Once this is posted, I’m going to curl up with a book, and get an early night. My holiday was lovely, but now I need to focus hard on getting some things off of the ‘to do’ list before I leave for fieldwork in twelve days!
repeat after me:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
So. Here is the way through: Breathe. Run (tomorrow after work). Plan: fear of the unknown is more than half of the problem, and a good deal of what is left is due to the chaos created by not having a plan. Eat well, sleep well and remember how in love you are with where you live and what you do. That should do it. Right?